What
Our Graduates Are Saying:
"Thank you U
of N for giving me the financial freedom I always wanted! I
started selling Gucci purses on the streets of Venicia, Italy 2
years ago. Today, I have over 20 employees vending purses
from your special manufacturers of Armani, Versace, Gucci,
Channel, Louis Vuiton, and many other big name companies.
The greatest part is that I paid only .79 cents (US) per purse and
sell each one between $60 and $350. Man, I sure love those
silly cruise ship people... they are naive spenders and we soak
them good! Thank you again for making my financial dreams
come true."
........................................................
"I never
realized how easy it is to make money while sitting behind a
computer and fax machine. You people were right on the
money! Every day I sent between 10 to 50 million emails
asking for people to help me transfer funds into their accounts so
that one day I can live a happy and cheerful life like them.
When they respond, I use my special training that I learned from
University of Nigeria to make around $10,000 to $30,000 off each
person willing to help. Good thing those British and
Americans don't know about this business opportunity yet. I
am ranking in the cash thanks to the University of Nigeria.
Thanks again for such a wonderful program."
........................................................
"Your
PhotoShop class was the best help I ever received. Not only
am I now able to amuse myself with multiple identities, but no one
can find me now! I ran away from my spend-thrift wife, cut
off the alimony payments to the kids, hehehe... even the utility
services can't find me. University of Nigeria helped me save
thousands upon thousands of dollars. Thank you for improving
my life and providing me with the economic freedom I have been
searching for."
........................................................
"The
University of Nigeria is like no other around the world.
They are the first to welcome anyone and everyone who is
interested in learning their sound and proven business
technologies. I am particularly pleased with the Ebay
courses I took at the University. Within days upon
completion, I won 25 auctions, received 20 items, and over
$17,000US in cash! My friends and family in Canada usually
pay for things they buy. But I am different. I get
people to pay me to sell items to me. Why don't other
universities teach savvy business skills like The University of
Nigeria?"
........................................................
"I know
people all around the world come to your website and wonder if
your claims of personal achievement are actually attainable by the
average person. Let me just say they are. In fact, I
was shocked with the level of success your university enabled me
to achieve. Before, I was a loser with no chance to achieve
anything in life. Now I'm on top of the world. I love
to travel and now I take my business with me wherever I go.
I recommend your courses to anyone who wants to get ahead in
life."
........................................................
"University
of Nigeria is the best in the world. I never took any tests,
graduated in less than a year, and already made my first million.
Thank you University of Nigeria. You people are the
best!"
........................................................
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The
following is a sample of our most popular courses. A complete
course guide is sent to all enrolled students.
- Macro Economics
101 ( CRN:
85623 )
- Learn how to
leverage your success with the economy of scale that mass email
marketing provides. Sending email offers one at a time is
useless and a waste of your time. If you send one stupid
email offer to millions and millions of people, you exert the
same amount of energy and greatly increase the chance that
someone will respond to your offer.
-
- History and
World Events 400
( CRN: 25364 )
- Many years ago,
the United States started a special group to help encourage the
growth of the Nigerian economy. It was called
ARPANET and is the foundation for the Internet and our current
economic prosperity. This course will teach you how the
United States provided us with direct links to millions of
wealthy and gullible households who assisted us in funneling
millions of dollars back to our home country. They are a
great people and we will never forget that.
-
-
- Accounting 419
( CRN: 38821 )
- This course
teaches how to leverage yourself against the American banking
system. Simply write a check for at least $40,000 to an
American and wait for them to deposit it. (Don't worry you
don't need to have that much in the bank). Next, say the
following... "Ooops, sorry Mr/Ms American. I
made a mistake and sent you twice as much money." The
silly American will wait until their bank says the check clears,
and then will happily remit $20,000 to you. A few weeks
later, your American friend will realize the check actually
bounced. This always bewilders those silly people.
They always looked so dazed and confused when their banks tell
them the money is there...but then it isn't. Anywho, it is
not our worry. We got the money for you. Now go have
some fun. Take Ebay Strategies with this course for more
profits.
-
- Statistical
Psychology 200
( CRN: 69735 )
- Research has
proven that .001 percent of the world population is completely
stupid, ignorant to the world around them, and will believe
anything. Using this information, you will learn how to
launch a mass email to 100 million people around the world and
use basic psychology skills to get .001 percent of the sample
group to send you money. If for example, you ask them to
send you $10,000 each, .001 percent will do so and yield you a
$1,000,000,000 return on your investment! (Prerequisite:
Macro Economics 101 & History and World Events 400)
-
- Fishing 100
( CRN: 44683 )
- This course will
teach you the skills and techniques of effective bait and switch
programs. The most profitable of these is advertising that
people can make millions of dollars by helping you transfer
money to their country. We will teach you how to hook them
with this technique and then change the offer so they actually
end up paying you. We have also added a new section to
this course that teaches you how to liquidate your customer's
bank account in the event they don't accept your baited offer.
Either way, we can now guarantee your success.
-
- PhotoShop 200
( CRN: 92673 )
- Once you have
learned the successful skills of mass email marketing, it will
be necessary to learn how to provide forged documentation to
your clients for your entertainment purposes. This course
will teach you how to scan passports into PhotoShop, change the
picture ID, and alter any written information using the smudge
tool and type over effects. You will also have a
complimentary five year subscription to www.aNewIdentity.com
in which you may assume other people's identities. (We
recommend selecting rich people so you may seize their financial
assets.)
-
- Ebay
Buying Strategies 419
( CRN: 92456 )
- If Ebay is going
to claim it is the world's marketplace for everything bought and
sold, don't you think you should be there too? Any
American idiot can make money by selling something on Ebay.
But it takes a graduate from the University of Nigeria to know
how to make money, NOT by SELLING, but by BUYING. Yes,
this program teaches you how to make instant money with each
purchase you make on Ebay. Thanks to the numerous
loop-holes in the American banking system our graduates have
obtained cars, trucks, property, expensive equipment and even
cash for absolutely nothing! Have you ever saw something
on Ebay you wanted? Take this course and we will show you
how to get it for free.
-
-
- Biotechnology
The Easy Way 101
( CRN: 10023 )
- Only those big,
stupid countries invest tons of money into biotechnology.
We'll show you how to take their technology and sell it back to
them. Ever received an email for Viagra or Propecia?
It most likely came from one of our graduates.
-
- Retail
Management 604
( CRN: 57932 )
- Learn the secrets
of purchasing Hermes and Louis Vuiton leather goods for less
than $1.00 each and reselling them for over $100! You will
receive a confidential list of special manufacturers in China,
Thailand, and India who will make almost anything you want,
place a name brand logo on it, and allow you to resell it for
huge profits across Europe and the Americas. You will also
learn how to reproduce music CDs, software programs, popular
DVDs and Sega video games for resale purposes. We will
even teach you how to rewrite "Please do not make illegal
copies of this program" on all your recreated Microsoft
software programs. This course is our most popular and
fills up quick.
-
-
- Subliminal
Seduction 400
( CRN: 75623 )
- This is a new
course that is only offered at U of N, taught by the founder of buyDHMO,
Inc. Senior level status is required for
admittance.
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